i don't want to break up... i just need some space

So dairy and I have had this love/hate relationship for some time now. From a little kid refusing to drink milk, to a hormonal teenager eating Stewarts ice cream every night, dairy and I have been through it all in our 24 year long relationship.

In the past couple of months I've been researching what kinds of lifestyle changes I can make to lower my risk of developing breast cancer. In almost every article I read, I come across the suggestion to give up dairy products. I already don't eat meat, I've never been a fan of milk, and I already use soy milk as an alternative in my coffee. I've made the switch to soy yogurt and don't really have an issue with cutting back on dairy products...except for cheese. Mac 'n cheese, grilled cheese, pizza...I really don't know if I can live without it. I'm pretty sure if you put a plate of gnocchi al gorgonzola in front of me and told me I'd be doomed for life, you still wouldn't be able to find a single crumb left after about a minute and a half.

I don't believe that a healthy lifestyle is one where you deprive yourself. I've always followed the "everything in moderation" habit of eating. However, if cutting back on dairy will really stop my boobs from ganging up on me, then it's definitely worth a shot. Which is why I've come to the conclusion that I'll just cut back a lot, not give it up completely. Because I already know that I would fail miserably.

Besides, who wants to live a life devoid of pizza and grilled cheese and cheesecake? NOT me..

cancer isn't the only thing to fear, insurance is way scarier

When I made my appointment to get my genetic testing done, one of my first questions was, is my insurance premium going to skyrocket if I test positive? My parents had offered to pay for the procedure out of pocket so that the insurance company never knows, but a) insurance companies are sketchy as it is and I don't want to screw myself over later by not telling them, and b) my doctor told me I'd own the insurance company if they tried to raise my monthly rates at all. (So hopefully they do, I could end up filthy rich out of this whole ordeal!)

We are in an uncertain place concerning health insurance right now. With all of the changes--however good or bad they may be, there's no way for me to know what the rules will be in a few months or a few years from now. While my insurance rates may not go up now, will I get denied insurance benefits at the next job I have? My insurance is expensive enough as it is, can I afford a jump in my monthly payment? I guess we'll have to wait and see--after all, I pay for health insurance every month so that if I ever do have an issue, I will be able to afford treatments. An increased monthly payment would be way better than having to go into serious debt someday to pay for cancer treatments.

One thing my doctor did suggest I do is to open a life insurance policy before I have the testing done. She said that life insurance is completely different, and unlike health insurance, I can be denied a policy if I test positive for the BRCA2 gene. This freaked me out. The poor guy I called was just trying to ask me questions about my lifestyle and what kind of policy I was interested in and I was nervous and rambling about how I'm young and don't even have kids yet for my life insurance policy to take care of! Before this I hadn't given a single thought to life insurance for two reasons. One is because I don't plan on dying anytime soon and the other is who will my policy take care of if I do? Sampson? I guess it would at least cover the cost of his obedience school. But seriously, hopefully the guy doesn't think I'm too crazy and calls me back with a good policy at an affordable price.

It's tough having to look ahead like this since I don't really know what I'm doing or know what to expect, but I'd rather be safe than sorry!